Growing up Trans in Evangelicalism parts 1 & 2

 


In our podcast on Growing Up Trans, Ray takes a break and I interview Asher. Asher talks about growing up and learning at a young age that his desire to be male was not ok. He then tries and lives the best he can as a parent and spouse. Ash was taught it was God's plan for all women to be wives and mothers and that this lifestyle would be fulfilling. Unfortunately, life as a stay-at-home mom was not as fulfilling as he was led to believe. In these two episodes you are invited to hear Asher's journey and the challenges he faced as he and his then husband came to terms with Asher's reality. 

I became an advocate for gay and lesbian rights in seminary. I started in the fall of 1994 and began dating a bright, good looking, talented man. After about a month of dating he said to me, "Kim you are everything I could want in a wife, but I could never remain faithful." I was the first person he came out to, and at that time the seminary we attended was not open to gay and lesbian people. Nor did the ELCA allow openly gay pastors to serve in a congregation unless they remained celibate. By the end of our seminary journey, things had started to change. He did though leave the ELCA and was ordained in the Episcopalian Church. The ELCA changed it's policy towards LGBTQ+ pastors in 2009, removing the celibacy requirement and allowing full inclusion. 

In the ELCA, communities that openly welcome LGBTQ+ individuals can be found on the website https://www.reconcilingworks.org/ Each congregation on this web site has gone through a process of reading, discerning and learning to be a truly welcoming place. Truly safe communities is something we all need. Especially our young people. Adolescence is a challenging time in life. I struggled with suicidal ideation throughout my teens. I found out later that many people I thought had it all together also struggled with suicidal thoughts. It is more common than we like to admit and it can be scary.

In the US, the leading cause of death among young people is gun violence. The second leading cause is suicide. Studies show that kids who are bullied are more likely to attempt suicide and that kids who struggle with their gender identity and sexuality are more often bullied. Please DO NOT bully, tease, or make fun of kids who are different, trans, weird, nerdy, geeky, or LGBTQ+. Just don't. No parent deserves to spend the rest of their lives without their beloved child because they were bullied in school, or by protesting churches. 

As a Christian, I believe that God has created all of us in God's image. I found peace in my struggles when I understood that God loves me flaws and all. I found peace knowing that God creates humanity very diverse and in our diversity God's character is more fully revealed. Whether you believe it or not you are a beloved child of God as you are, just be that wonderful unique person God created you to be and add your story to the world. 

If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts please know you are not alone. There is help available and life does get better. Please reach out for help by texting or calling 9-8-8 or 9-1-1. Hang in there. It does get easier to manage. 

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