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Leaving Mormonism and Religious Trauma

Resources from Leaving Mormonism episode HOW TO TELL IF YOUR HIGH CONTROL ORGANIZATION OR RELIGION IS A CULT Understanding Cults: Recognizing the Characteristics The term "cult" is commonly used to describe social groups with extreme religious, philosophical, or spiritual beliefs centered around a specific personality, object, or goal. These groups often employ manipulative psychological tactics to attract and control members, such as high-pressure recruitment methods. Cults are usually marked by unconventional or socially deviant practices and beliefs. It's import to note cults can vary and widely in size, from small local groups to international organizations with millions of members.  It is difficult to determine the number of Americans who are or who have been involved with cult religions. Still, Margaret Singer, a psychology professor at he University of California, Berkeley, who has counseled more than 3,000 former cult members, estimates that ten million to 20 mill...
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Masculinity and Religious Trauma

 In this episode Simon talks about the trauma associated with Evangelical/Christian Nationalists view of masculinity. Men are to be leaders. All men. But if all men are leaders who is in charge? How can an organization move in any direction if every male is his own leader and is fighting for his own agenda? Simon points out some of these obvious flaws in his experience of growing up in a High Demand Church were all males are told they need to be leaders.  Simon also discusses his unease with the model of leadership presented. In my opinion (Kim's), the type of masculinity Simon's religion exposed him to is not consistent with the teachings of Jesus. Jesus pushed ''servant leadership", where instead of insisting on the honor or being the warrior in the room, he was the one who served. Much of Jesus' teachings upends the society of his time's view of masculinity--talking to women, healing all people including women and foreigners, and riding to Jerusalem on a...
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ADHD and Religious Trauma

 Ok I am really behind on the blogs.  In the episode on ADHD and Religious Trauma, Berta talks about how it feels to be an adult who is differently abled. Too many times we expect ADHD to be a children's disease or disability, but it is not. Perhaps some people do "out grow" ADHD, but more likely they develop coping mechanisms to mask their ADHD. Some coping mechanisms might be leaving notes in places so as to not forget to do something. Or a coping mechanism Penn from the Holderness Family talks about is wearing Cargo pants so he can keep his must haves in one place. Other coping mechanisms might look like multiple alarms on a smart phone, notes in various colors so they stand out, color codes, labels, nearly anything to help keep track of things. One thing I have noticed having raised an ADHD child now adult is how difficult it can be for some with ADHD to organize space-- a room, paperwork, clothing.  One thing that really struck me in this conversation was Berta remin...
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Growing up Trans in Evangelicalism parts 1 & 2

  In our podcast on Growing Up Trans, Ray takes a break and I interview Asher. Asher talks about growing up and learning at a young age that his desire to be male was not ok. He then tries and lives the best he can as a parent and spouse. Ash was taught it was God's plan for all women to be wives and mothers and that this lifestyle would be fulfilling. Unfortunately, life as a stay-at-home mom was not as fulfilling as he was led to believe. In these two episodes you are invited to hear Asher's journey and the challenges he faced as he and his then husband came to terms with Asher's reality.  I became an advocate for gay and lesbian rights in seminary. I started in the fall of 1994 and began dating a bright, good looking, talented man. After about a month of dating he said to me, "Kim you are everything I could want in a wife, but I could never remain faithful." I was the first person he came out to, and at that time the seminary we attended was not open to gay and...
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Doctrine of Discovery and Racism

 Hi! Check out our newest podcast on the Doctrine of Discovery. Have you ever heard of it?  It is the result of three papal bulls issued in 1400s. These three papal bulls make a great impact on the lives of Native Americans to this day. It allowed slavery and perpetual ownership of non Europeans across the globe. Not until the 2010s and 2023 did about two dozen protestant denominations and the Roman Catholic church denounce it's teachings and the racists ideology behind it.  Racism is often considered the US's original sin. It is necessary for denominations and churches to recognize how much White People have benefited from laws and beliefs that have been turned into systems keeping groups in poverty, denying jobs to qualified individuals and creating an attitude of entitlement among White People. In this episode we talk a bit about how the Eisenhower Highway system targeted black communities and left those communities divided, cut off, and suffering health problems from ...
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What is Christianity?

Our newest podcast has been posted and in it Ray and I talk about our experiences with Christianity. We decided to start with the 1828 definition and the modern Merriam-Webster. Christianity doesn't appear in the 1828 dictionary, and in Merriam-Webster it is:  :  the religion derived from Jesus  Christ , based on the Bible as sacred scripture, and professed by Eastern, Roman Catholic, and Protestant bodies I highlighted this definition because at it's core, Christianity is about Jesus. Most people who have been exposed to Jesus' teachings do not have a problem with him. Many people have a problem with his followers. A quote I learned in college, "You Christians why aren't you more like your Christ? " Ghandi.  The amount of trauma and individuals who will never darken the door of a church is an indictment of how people who call themselves Christian treat the people they meet and the systems in place that allow for no oversight of clergy, no academic training of...
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Homeschooling and Religious Trauma

 Hi!  Our latest podcast is now live. Homeschooling and Religious trauma. In this podcast Ray talks about his experience with being homeschooled and then transitioning into Community College. Going from a bubble of church and home and suddenly needing to make your own decisions and navigate in the adult world can be jarring. Ray talks about how well prepared for adult life his schooling taught him and it's pitfalls.   A little history: The book Hijacking History: How the Religious Right Teaches History and Why it Matters, by Kathleen Wellman is very helpful in understanding what is going on. When schools in the south became unsegregated a few men got together and started homeschooling and Christian Academies in order to keep their children from mixing with black kids. It starts out to maintain the status quo in the south and becomes as one family member put it, "the Baptist thing to do". Parents were essentially sold a bag of goods that promised a better education th...
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