Condemned and Happy

  In our podcast on Growing Up Trans, Ray takes a break and I interview Asher. Asher talks about growing up and learning at a young age that his desire to be male was not ok. He then tries and lives the best he can as a parent and spouse. Ash was taught it was God's plan for all women to be wives and mothers and that this lifestyle would be fulfilling. Unfortunately, life as a stay-at-home mom was not as fulfilling as he was led to believe. In these two episodes you are invited to hear Asher's journey and the challenges he faced as he and his then husband came to terms with Asher's reality.  I became an advocate for gay and lesbian rights in seminary. I started in the fall of 1994 and began dating a bright, good looking, talented man. After about a month of dating he said to me, "Kim you are everything I could want in a wife, but I could never remain faithful." I was the first person he came out to, and at that time the seminary we attended was not open to gay and...

 Hi! Check out our newest podcast on the Doctrine of Discovery. Have you ever heard of it?  It is the result of three papal bulls issued in 1400s. These three papal bulls make a great impact on the lives of Native Americans to this day. It allowed slavery and perpetual ownership of non Europeans across the globe. Not until the 2010s and 2023 did about two dozen protestant denominations and the Roman Catholic church denounce it's teachings and the racists ideology behind it.  Racism is often considered the US's original sin. It is necessary for denominations and churches to recognize how much White People have benefited from laws and beliefs that have been turned into systems keeping groups in poverty, denying jobs to qualified individuals and creating an attitude of entitlement among White People. In this episode we talk a bit about how the Eisenhower Highway system targeted black communities and left those communities divided, cut off, and suffering health problems from ...

Our newest podcast has been posted and in it Ray and I talk about our experiences with Christianity. We decided to start with the 1828 definition and the modern Merriam-Webster. Christianity doesn't appear in the 1828 dictionary, and in Merriam-Webster it is:  :  the religion derived from Jesus  Christ , based on the Bible as sacred scripture, and professed by Eastern, Roman Catholic, and Protestant bodies I highlighted this definition because at it's core, Christianity is about Jesus. Most people who have been exposed to Jesus' teachings do not have a problem with him. Many people have a problem with his followers. A quote I learned in college, "You Christians why aren't you more like your Christ? " Ghandi.  The amount of trauma and individuals who will never darken the door of a church is an indictment of how people who call themselves Christian treat the people they meet and the systems in place that allow for no oversight of clergy, no academic training of...

 Hi!  Our latest podcast is now live. Homeschooling and Religious trauma. In this podcast Ray talks about his experience with being homeschooled and then transitioning into Community College. Going from a bubble of church and home and suddenly needing to make your own decisions and navigate in the adult world can be jarring. Ray talks about how well prepared for adult life his schooling taught him and it's pitfalls.   A little history: The book Hijacking History: How the Religious Right Teaches History and Why it Matters, by Kathleen Wellman is very helpful in understanding what is going on. When schools in the south became unsegregated a few men got together and started homeschooling and Christian Academies in order to keep their children from mixing with black kids. It starts out to maintain the status quo in the south and becomes as one family member put it, "the Baptist thing to do". Parents were essentially sold a bag of goods that promised a better education th...

What is Religious Trauma and Why Does it Matter?  The Global Center for Religious Research defines religious trauma as: "Religious trauma results from an event, series of events, relationships, or circumstances within or connected to religious beliefs, practices, or structures that is experienced by an individual as overwhelming or disruptive and has lasting adverse effects on a person's physical, mental, social, emotional, or spiritual well-being." https://www.gcrr.org/religioustrauma The Religious Trauma Institute defines religious trauma as: "The physical, emotional, or psychological response to religious beliefs, practices, or structures that overwhelm an individual's ability to cope and return to a sense of safety." This site further defines " Adverse Religious Experiences : Any experience of a religious belief, practice, or structure that undermines an individual's sense of safety or autonomy and/or negatively impacts their physical, social, e...

Mission Statement: This site is intended to be a safe place for people who have experienced adverse religious experiences or trauma. Therefore to keep this site safe, we denounce any and all types of hate speech. We are not here to argue/debate, change each other's mind, or dismiss anyone's experience. We believe, accept, and celebrate the diversity of and uniqueness in humanity. We believe that all people are created in the image of a loving God who wants all of us to feel loved, safe, heard, seen, and valued.  As a virtual safe space, we believe it is important to make clear we are not going tolerate anyone condemning anyone else on this space. That said, it is important to understand we find the following ideologies unsafe: Christian Nationalism, Anti-semitism, Patriarchy, Homophobia, White Supremacy, Rapture ideology, Sexism, and any "ism" that seeks to control or destroy another person's autonomy.